If their present source becomes unavailable, loses its edge, or becomes uninteresting and dull, the Hoover's goal is to seek MORE Narcissistic Supply

If their present source becomes unavailable, loses its edge, or becomes uninteresting and dull, the Hoover's goal is to seek MORE Narcissistic Supply. There is nothing else. It could be something as minor as the main source of Narcissistic Supply being unavailable today from 9 a.m. to 11 a.m., so to keep themselves occupied, they send 12 text messages at 9:05 a.m. to previously rejected people like you and me. Someone who hasn't blocked them on phone/text, email, and social media may get their message and think, "Oh my God! My demands have been realized! After all, she does love me and misses me! We're on our way back! It was all a mistake! TRUE LOVE will not be stopped! I'll respond in a polite, friendly, and non-smothering way."

Nope.

The narcissist was simply bored, so s
he sent the same text to a dozen rejected targets, just to see how many of them may be revisited in the future for more Narcissistic Supply. While others respond, the narcissist simply glances at their phone and thinks, "12 texts sent. 7 responses equals a 58% return on investment. I'll simply leave these seven responses unread till the next time I'm bored."

The Hoover can take many different forms. It can range from a knock on your door professing love and a desire to rekindle, to clicking a "like" button on a social media platform you haven't blocked yet, to a laughably ridiculous "Cease and Desist" letter from a $5 month LegalShieldTM hack sent by the narcissist to tell you to stop doing something you aren't doing concerning a matter you aren't involved in. OR ALL OF THESE OPTIONS.

or is it the end of the game?" This is a difficult question. From the start, the outcome was predetermined: Idealization/Love-Bombing, Devalue, Discard, and Hoover. That aspect is unchangeable. The amount of time in each cycle is the part that is more elastic, more fluid. For example, your Devalue stage leading to Discard could have been 4 months, whereas your replacement's Devalue stage could have been a year. Your Hoover could arrive a few weeks after Discard, while the other guy's Hoover could arrive a year and a half later. Other factors include how much Narcissistic Supply you provide, as well as how much adultery, gaslighting, and nonsense you're ready to tolerate before calling them out and holding them accountable or taking them to task. However, the narcissist wrote the finale on day one.

".......or is it Game Over?" When YOU decide it's game over, it's game over. When you decide to take a step back from the dumpster fire train mess and start rebuilding yourself. When that happens, it's "Game Over."

A foundation is required to begin mending. A strong foundation, just like when building a new house. The first step is to avoid making contact. Block the narcissist from calling/texting, emailing, and using social media. Many victims of NPD abuse misunderstand what No Contact is and why it exists. No Contact places as many barriers, hurdles, and difficulties between the narcissist and you as possible for YOUR safety.

There's no doubt that at some point during your Devalue stage, you experienced "The Silent Treatment." It is a type of emotional abuse intended to influence you and drive you to do what the narcissist desires. For instance, you may catch the narcissist cheating by having sex with another man in your marriage bed. You must face the narcissist. When her gaslighting techniques fail, "You didn't see what you just saw," she disappears for a few days and is inaccessible. THAT is known as the Silent Treatment. It is intended to punish you until you comply with the narcissist's wishes. It is only ephemeral and exists to deceive you.

No Contact is an entirely different story. It is permanent if done correctly. No Contact isn't here to help you control a narcissist. It is not here to impose its will. In truth, No Contact is entirely unrelated to the narcissist. It's all about YOU. It is to offer you the breathing space and elbow room you require to heal. It is not the end of the healing process; rather, it is merely the beginning. It is the initial step.

Begin by blocking the narcissist on all platforms, including phone/text, email, and social media. 

Now, the narcissist isn't going to make things easy. It is still possible to obtain fresh phone numbers and social media profiles. And hence irritate you when they try to spy on you.

However, instead of responding or reacting to a narcissist when it is identified, simply block it as it appears. It's similar to playing Whack-A-Mole at the arcade.


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